Please don't do this

When the gal whom a guy thinks he loves, drops a bomb by saying
‘I am getting/got betrothed’
Poor guy…Shell shocked .…Million transformers must have burst in his tiny heart, he still sports a smile n tries to show that he’s at ease by dropping a line of humor.
‘Cool!!! Who is that un(?)lucky guy???’. What else can he do?
His worst nightmare is the thing that happens most often. She wouldn’t have given him the slightest of hunch that she has a boy friend and yet one dinner she invites him and gives an intro, ‘This is my fiancee…’

Twenty 20

A Sample survey and how a jaded software employee would have answered it

Tell about yourself
A drop in the ocean

Whats up?
Network is up and running, coz of which am down

Howz work?
Same shit, different days

Howz life?
MOVE “SUCKS” TO OFFICIAL LIFE
SET SOCIAL LIFE TO ZERO

Den?
Cell (Cubilce i mean) no. 53, Just Another Comp, North Ward, Hell

Time spent for physical activities and Games
NULL, sorry NIL

Domain Expertise?
Health Care

Favorite place?
Loo, no one disturbs me there

Hobbies?
Right now, sleep and relaxation

What do you do on weekends?
Go back to the previous answer

Recent movies?
Okkadu in Gemini and Kannathil Muthamittal in Sun

Favorite Drink?
Coffee, it keeps me agile.

Do you have any GF?
Sorry boss, no time, long since I was out for a date

Did you see our PM’s speech on Aug 15th?
Hey, what day is it? Sorry, I thought Independence day comes next Tuesday

Whos gonna triumph in the triangular cricket series?
Who are all in the series?

Strength?
Endurance

Weakness?
Too weak to answer this

Favorite Personality?
Not my PM/GL

Ambition in Life?
Never screw and get screwed

What do you think about this survey?
A fiasco, I donno why I am taking it

Worst Case Scenarios

You all know what can happen on Monday mornings, feeling the blues to go to office. But what if you start feeling it a day before when you are at home sleeping without knowing the consequences of the forthcomings the day has to offer. Presenting some of the worst case scenarios that can happen on Sundays.

1. You are robbed of that extra tinge sleep by a lingering door bell, banging noises of windows, neighbors’ babies howl etc
2. Musing over it, u take the newspaper in your hand, finding out the list of hot TV shows for the day with a cup of coffee and hardly u would have turned on the TV, u hear that awesome ‘Paartha Mudhal Naaley’ song waving slowly into your ears from your mobile.
3. Disgustingly the call is from your PM or Lead asking whether you are free for the day and requesting(?) you to stop over the office for an urgent deliverable to be done on the Mondays. Donno whether they have a heart, for u would have worked the entire Saturday and turned back late
4. Quickly out for a bath, only to find that the watch man had failed to switch on the motor. Throwing some tantrums, u switch on the motor yourself and after munching some junkies, u go for a shower.
5. Commutation problem starts. The bike key is missing somewhere. After rummaging your way through the entire house and putting it in shambles, u annoyingly lock the house trying to catch an auto only to find that the key is resting safely in the bike.
6. The bike fail to start and u find strangers (almost every one on the road) peering at your cumbersome position. The reason though may be simple. The key hasn’t been turned to ‘ON’ position or the petrol tank is still closed.
7. The dilemma doesn’t end there. The bike meanders to a stop as if some one has ordained it to do so. Petrol tank is empty buddy, it says. You forget the fact that you had failed to refuel it, thinking that u can do it aaraam se on Sundays. With no petrol bunks near by, u place the bike in a neighboring apartment and catch yourself an auto to the workstation.
8. Server is down. Nothing seems to work. Mail box says nothing critical to be delivered. Lead is still missing in office. Pondering over it, u make a call only to receive a retort like ‘Sorry, it seems they have understood the problem. Deadline can be extended’. U feel like hitting him with whatever you get on hand first.
9. To add flavor to otherwise a forgettable Sunday, u call up some of your best pals and get together at a theater mall. Again misery smiles at your face, u get tickets only for some crap.
10. After living thro’ 2 and a half hours of an utterly fallacious screenplay and death thro the happenings on the screen, u comeback home and try to find solace by talking to your loved ones. You call your GF/BF. They pile on the agony by not picking your calls.
11. You analyse the entire day’s happenings and how you have wasted it and say ‘Why me? Why is this happening on Sundays?’ and find that the cost cutting measures of government come into play by switching off the power. You go to terrace with a bedsheet and pillow and find too stressed out that you sleep before your head hits pillow’s soft head.

You go to office on Monday morning with a heavy heart of having wasted your sunday and you need some inspirational mails to carry on your day. Instead you see some blog/forward like this saying “Worst case scenarios and a bunch of utterly useless info” with a crook compiling the list of worsts that can happen on Sundays and asking you to read that shit and comment on it.

Project Pulambals

Kaataadhey Error Kaataadhey
Compile pannum podhu error kaataadhey
Aagadhey dump aagadhey
Oru sound koduthu dump aagaadhey
Error yellaathaeyum debug panna
Naan onnum pisthu illa
Copy Paste panni thaaney
Odudhu padhi pozhappu inga
(Kaatadhey)

Mainframe DB2 nu naan irundhaen
Yaenda ‘C’ kulla thalli vitta
Onsite Onsite nu naan theda
Offshore la enna adakki putta
Nallaa irundha en life a
Ippadi NULL aaga aakki putta
MBA aaganum endra en kanava
Neekki ipadi Vambula maati vitta
Ennudan irundha oru figura
Vera projla thalli vitta
Enna mattum critical resourcenu
irukka vachu naaradicha
(Kaataadha)