Paradise Regained

The road to perdition started one fine Sunday morning in November end. Couldn’t bell the cat. IIFT was inscrutable. Screwed the SNAP. JMET jettisoned me. XAT was sucking. Finally FMS was a respite and left me with a feel good factor. Only after the results I do know how fucking great was it. Though I could nod a sigh of relief that the grueling exam period is over, all these left me with a feeling that I am a loser in life.

Something inside told me that ‘Why don’t you take away your life? You are not good at anything’. It was not just the exam results about which I am getting perturbed. Being servile to some one who reports you just the error log and asks for resolution or doing a job just for the sake of getting salary is no fun. It’s all shit in the working hours and at the end of the day I was going to bed with a heavy heart. Mental agitation was reaching the pinnacle of my life.

I was discussing this with one of my close friends. Told him, I just have 3 things in mind ‘Get into a B-school (the prospects of which are bleak) or Get out of this project (the chances of which are as remote as rain in the desert) or death (the only viable option)’. He was surprised by hearing this and asked me whether I was serious. I just nodded(Coz one of my other close friends was saying the same thing with 3 diff options but for fun). He threw in a riposte, “Yaar, Think about the two souls that created you back home. What bad they have done for you? They have spent their entire life in bringing you up and you are just going to shell their dreams just because you feel depressed. It is nothing but horrendous. If you are not happy with this project go and talk to your PL and ask for release or if possible quit this job. Moreover Life is not only about being an MBA, you can be an successful entrepreneur even without becoming one.’

He was telling me the options I have in life and told me that so many people don’t even have the opportunities that I have. He asked me to pay a visit to an orphanage that he has frequented, once. He told me the story of a small boy he had seen there. The chap was yearning for his parents’ love and still had hope that one day his parents gonna come and take him home. It made me think some what. But the icing on the cake was the apt panacea that he told me his father had suggested. ‘Next time you think of depression, Just make a paste of green or red chilly and rub it in your ass. All the depression would be gone’. Though I never tried that, I can perceive how it will be and how bad a plight I would be in. The only thing that I would be worried about that time is how to get out of that filth. ‘Then relax and ponder over what I have told you and how preposterous is your view of life’.

I thought, ok let me chuck the CAT etc and think about something more useful than it. If I could make a world of difference to atleast a single person who is in dire need of help, I think I have made my life worth living. The mist that had surrounded my head is still there. But I feel it can be cleared.

Sorry if this note turns into an advisory one. How the road to perdition can be changed to the road to incarnation is in our hands. Approach everything with a positive mind and think about the millions who are below you in various forms of life. Sure you can make them come up in life. So mate, keep a paste of chilly ready and the next time you feel depressed just don’t forget to spread it down your bums.